


Candlelight

by Shouting_Star



Series: Running to you/Running from you [2]
Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: Burnage, Denial of Feelings, Sharing a Tiny Bedroom, confused feelings, incestuous thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 05:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10353468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shouting_Star/pseuds/Shouting_Star
Summary: Noel has feelings for Liam that aren't exactly brotherly but he can't admit it.





	

The rain was falling relentlessly over the grey and identical dwellings of Burnage. The howling wind was announcing a storm. Noel could hear the raindrops violently crushing on the roof of the Council house. It was already dark and cold outside.

Noel had rushed into the bathroom after the dinner. He felt the urge to wash away his problems in hot water. The days he had his bath with Liam belonged to the past.

_And it’s for the best. Believe me._

 

He took absently his clothes off, folded his trousers and his old jumper. He tried to focus on his movements but he couldn’t stop thinking.

 

_Liam was dating a girl. For fuck’s sake._

Earlier this day, the kid had brought her home. Noel knew that there had been other girlfriends but Liam had never taken them to their house.

 

He turned the tap on. The hotter the better. Soon, steam was rising from the bathtub. He came into the water and grabbed the soap angrily.

 

Liam had kissed her. In front of him. And all he had wanted had been to rip their lips apart. But he had not been able to move or even look away.

 

The water was running hot on his face. It felt good. Quickly, despite himself, he started to imagine how Liam’s lips would feel on his, the wet and hot contact of his tongue. Instinctively, he lowered a hand between his legs and started to rub softly the sensitive skin.

 

_How sick am I to wank over my own fucking brother?_

 

He rested his motionless hand on the edge of the bathtub. A dull shame was biting down his guts. But he was used to it now, living with this daily mix of shame and desire: whenever he saw Liam, whenever Liam was speaking, whenever he was smiling or taking the piss. The desire was even more difficult to hold back when came the dusk, in the shadows of a tiny bedroom that was never meant for two teenage boys. It was the best and the worst part of the day. Almost every night, Noel could hear soft moans coming from the other bed and it drove him crazy. He listened to Liam’s breathing. In and out. A pause. The rustle of the sheets. A wet and obscene sound. And it started again from the beginning. Again and again until Liam found his relief in a last muffled noise. Sometimes he tried to hum a tune in his head to cover the noises but even the Beatles couldn’t overcome Liam’s voice.

That was Noel’s daily life.

 

He sighed. Thinking about Liam led to nowhere but wasting his time.

 _Our kid is so fucking blind_.

The house was quiet, only the sound of the pouring rain broke the silence. Peggy had left the boys to visit some old friends. And God only knew what Liam was doing.

 

His younger brother was actually closer than he thought. Liam was climbing the stairs and soon Noel heard a loud bang at the bathroom door.

"C’me on Noel! Open the fucking door! I need to piss!"

_How can he always pick up the wrong time?_

Noel sighed. He didn’t feel strong enough to argue right now.

"Are ya’ a baby? I should let ya’ wet yourself!"

 

He got out of the bathtub and wrapped tightly a towel around his waist. He took a deep breath, unlocked the door and tried to return quickly to the safety of the steaming water.

Yet, Liam was faster and Noel felt two arms firmly grabbing his chest. He tried to escape. He should have been able to but he couldn’t fight Liam’s embrace. He turned around to face his little brother.

"Thought you needed to piss." He wished he could sound ironic.

"Yeah man, I need to piss you off or summat. " Liam’s face was dangerously close and Noel couldn’t escape the blue trap of his eyes. He felt Liam’s hot breath on his skin.

“Close your eyes, Noel.”

“No.”

“Just do it !”

“No.”

“Alright. I don’t care, I’ll do it anyway.”

Liam crushed his lips on Noel’s. It was unexpected, fast and violent. It felt more like an aggression than a real kiss. Their teeth collided and Liam’s tongue was trying to conquer his mouth. The kid was pinning him against the wall with all his weight . But Noel didn’t surrender. He gritted his teeth and pushed Liam away.

 

The storm was finally coming. The rain outside got louder.

 

Liam looked puzzled and disappointed.

“Ya want it ! I know, Noel. I saw the way you look at me.”

“You’re off your fucking mind. What made ya think it’s right?”

Liam furrowed and angrily spat.

“I don’t give a shit!”

And awkward silence followed only interrupted by the sound of the storm. Noel was dripping water on the tiled floor. His skin was electrified by his brother’s touch and he was terrified he wouldn’t be able to hide the sick desire that began to bulge shyly through his towel.

A loud thunderclap echoed in the room and suddenly the light went off. It was completely dark now. Noel was relieved that Liam couldn’t see him anymore.

“Fuck…” Muttered the younger one, “Do you know how to fix that shit ?”

“Yes…” Sighed Noel. He shivered because after all he felt oppressed in the dark like the little boy he was not so long ago. In a whisper, he added, “but you come with me to the circuit breaker.”

Liam didn’t knew all the monsters waiting for Noel in the dark but he knew they were there waiting in the corner of his brother’s memory. And it didn’t matter if it was only in his mind. He took his brother’s hand as they exited the bathroom. The older entwined their fingers as they did when they were little. Noel led the two of them to the kitchen where they found an old candle to light their way. Noel was still almost naked, wandering with only a tiny towel around his waist. The flickering light was sensually dancing on his skin. Liam couldn’t help but look eagerly at the way it hid and revealed the curves of his body. Light and shadows fighting to caress his pale skin. He felt a confused feeling aching in his chest, unnamed desires he didn’t understand yet.

They finally reached the circuit breaker in the entry. The older one tried to fix their problem. He eventually gave up after long minutes and a lot of colourful swearwords.

Liam peered through the window. The only lights he could see were the stars in the sky. The power failure had plunged the whole Burnage into darkness.

Noel was slightly shaking, he must have been cold thought Liam.

"C’me on, Noel you haven’t finished your shower yet."

He took the candle from his brother’s hands and conducted him to the bathroom.

He was staring at Noel as he began to remove the towel.

 

“Don’t look like that, you stupid twat.”

“Yer such a woman, ‘ave seen ya  naked a million times before ! I should let you alone in the dark,” growled Liam.

But he simply sat at the foot of the bathtub facing the door while Noel got into the water. Liam listened carefully to every sound his brother was making, trying to imagine what was going on behind his back. The candle projected a fainting light in room. Liam watched the tiny flame quietly.

Noel felt the need to break the silence, Liam wasn’t such a mute usually.

“What have ya been doing lately ?” “Nuthing special. Hang out with me mates, meet birds, smoke some weed. And ya ?  Louise is still mad at ya ?” he asked bitterly...

“She will come back sooner or later… We had already planned to move on together, anyway.”

There was an uncomfortable silence until Liam coldly answered.

“So ya will leave me.”

He clenched his fist. He couldn’t imagine his life without his brother. Noel was there when he woke up. He was there when he came back from school. He was always there, strumming his stupid  guitar in the middle of the night. Even when he was out, he was in Liam’s thoughts.

“You’re not a baby anymore.”

Liam remained silent and Noel finally added, “I’ll come home often, you won’t see the difference.”

“I don’t care,” stated Liam, “I’ll come to _your_ house whenever I’ll want it. And it’s _you_ who won’t see the difference.” 

As much as it annoyed him he couldn’t help but feel satisfied. He knew precisely what Liam’s face was right now : he was frowning and pouting like a child.

Noel was finally over. He made a quick job of the drying and _at last_ got dressed.

 

They ended the evening in their room eating crisps and drinking beers in the candlelight. Liam’s moodiness went away as he asked Noel to play his favourite Beatles’ songs. He had always loved watching Noel play as much as it awoke in him some weird sense of jealousy. He knew his brother was composing too. Once he read some drafts left on the desk. He liked the lyrics and he had the feeling to touch something very personal about his brother’s soul. From that instant, he wondered how Noel’s words would feel in his mouth.

“We should form a duo, Noel ! I’ll be the singer and you’ll be my guitarist !”

“No fucking way I’d be your guitarist ! You’ll be my singer, that is ! And how are you gonna call the band ?”

“I dunno man…” He frowned as if he was thinking very hard, “The Gallaghers Brothers. It’s cool innit ?”

“It’s shit.”

“Then find something, you cunt.”

“I’m sure I’ll find something better... ”

Liam could see in Noel’s eyes that he wasn't just joking. His heart missed a beat. He remembered the few times his big brother had promised him that he would get them out of Burnage and that a shining future was waiting for them. He believed him as a kid, then they had grown up and Noel had apparently forgot about it.

 

They went to bed before Peggy’s arrival. Noel couldn’t sleep, he was still thinking about the strange day he had. He wanted to crawl into Liam’s bed. He turned over, changed position. Nothing worked. Finally,  the alcohol still running in his veins helped him make his decision. He tiptoed to the bed where his brother was peacefully sleeping and crawled under the sheets. Liam seemed to be still dreaming as he passed his arms around Noel. The familiar scent of his body was reassuring and Noel was vaguely wondering how he would live and breath without his Liam when he’d move with Louise.

As if he had captured his thoughts Liam tightened his grip on Noel’s body and entangled their legs. The guitarist softly pressed his lips against his brother’s. Liam didn’t bother opening his eyes but Noel felt him smile.


End file.
